England goalkeeper David James holds key to falling crime-rate

Some intrepid research--if watching BBC THREE counts--told me that that poor, young adolescents are violent towards other poor, young adolescents to warn off other poor, young adolescents from being violent towards them. Got it? Good. And then those poor, young adolescents who received that violence then become targets and so have to prove themselves by being violent towards other poor, young adolescents who...

There's an analogy here. And it's England's 2004 World Cup qualifier with Austria.

England goalkeeper David James made a particularly bad howler, causing opposition Austrian strikers to attempt shots from pretty much anywhere, just in case. And that only stopped when James proved himself by stopping a ball hitting the back of the net for once. James here represented the victim of violence, and the opposition Austrian strikers the perpetrators of further inner-city violence.

If, say, instead of having to prove himself on the pitch, the England team voted for a job placement scheme substituting those Austrian strikers into different professions--Law, Banking, Accountancy, Administration, 18-30s Holiday Group Leader--then James wouldn't have needed to prove himself by saving further shots on goal. Indeed, there would be no more shots to save!

That's 1) the key to a falling crime-rate and 2) the only way we're going to win the World Cup.